Find Your Worth in God, Not the World

I’m still not fully sure where things went wrong. As a child, faith felt simpler, God’s love, unquestionable. Yet, as I stepped into adulthood, things got complicated and disappointments began to warp my understanding of my own worth in the face of my faith.

Sadly, I began to believe a single lie that caused so much turmoil within me and caused me to form self-destructive patterns with my life.

The Lie That Took Root: Somewhere between Sunday school lessons and adult Bible studies, and my pursuit in seminary, a lie crept in unnoticed that I would later unpack in counseling and coaching. I began to believe that I wasn’t valuable to God. That the outcomes of my life were a result of his dissatisfaction with me and my sin. This wasn’t a loud, abrupt intrusion but a slow, creeping doubt that settled into my bones. Deep down I wasn’t willing to accept that God’s love was for me. It tainted every prayer, every sermon heard, and every verse read.

This subtle, and brutal pride veiled itself in false humility. I found myself seeking counsel after counsel, sitting in different chairs, hoping for a resolution that never came. Each session ended with me feeling more desolate than before. My faith, that I thought was once a solid rock, had become crumbling sand.

Exhausted and disheartened, I continued to seek wisdom and the Lord. Season over season God put me into circumstances that forced me to face my doubts and to wrestle with the truth. It was time to confront the lie head-on and re-anchor my faith in the truth of Scripture.

Steps to Healing:

1. My heartfelt Return to Scripture: Oddly enough, after all of my study of the scriptures, I needed to slow down my pace and let my heart embrace it again as I sat with the Lord I didn’t necessarily begin to pore over the Bible in revived bliss, but I did begin to allow myself to let the scriptures truths wash over me like a gentle rain. Meditating on well known Scriptures again like Psalm 139, which declares that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, helped rebuild what was broken.
2. My intentional Prayers and Reflection: At first, I had to write some prayers out that I could use every day. Sure, just talking with God became a practice again, but having the written prayers and spending time in them helped me consistently return to what mattered to me in the Lord. In those moments of quiet communion, I felt the reassurance of God’s spirit reminding me of my inherent worth and purpose He gave me
3. My Counseling Journey: Sharing my struggles with a trusted counselor was huge. I had sought many different counselors. I look back at those days as very frustrating because I did not realize that safety was something I felt was missing all of my Christian upbringing. So I struggled to make progress because I didn’t feel safe with the counselors I had up to that point. It was something I had to work through, each one of them could have been great, but it was not feeling the security of safety that kept me behind. When I found the counselor that I felt safe with, I finally began to make progress. His insights and affirmations provided a mirror of truth about God’s love with grace and compassion.
4. A faith community to return to: So my views of church had become incredibly warped by my journey and experiences. It was hard to feel at home for a long time because my studies and attitudes about the way church “should” be kept me cynical and dissatisfied. I knew there wasn’t a single “perfect” church on planet earth, but it was my disappointments, my issues, that kept me from truly opening up at church and connecting with the community God led me to. Once I began to step out of my subtle pride and into the truth with real humility I found peace at church and a grace that reflected God’s grace for us.

So, is this a story about finding my worth in God? On one level, yes. I needed to understand God’s love for ME, but that love brings about a humility that shapes our devotion and walk with Him. It’s a journey of not only returning to the truths that may have been overshadowed by life’s circumstances but it was a journey of finally embodying them. Yes, I had to do some work and dismantle the lies I believed with a counselor and coach and I had to reclaim the steadfast promises of God’s love for me.

If you find yourself struggling with similar feelings of unworthiness, or are struggling to understand what is holding you back. It may not be subtle pride. It could be any number of beliefs that are not true that you need to dismantle with a coach or counselor. I encourage you to take a step today towards healing. Seek the truth in Scripture, pray for revelation, and surround yourself with those who will remind you of your true worth in Christ.